By
Hank Reineke
Generally speaking, I happen to watch more bad movies
than good ones… and I suppose that any film which includes the breathless line,
“It’s too bad we didn’t bring the dune
buggy!†suggests I’m likely in the midst of another. In truth, I sort of knew this going into Arch
Hall Sr.’s cult classic EEGAH (1962),
a bona fide drive-in circuit masterpiece. This film has long suffered ignobility partly due to the circulation of tattered
prints relegated to the Public Domain. The film’s PD fate partly explains its inclusion in practically every
budget-label 50 or 100 count horror and sci-fi multi-film DVD collection ever
marketed. Happily – if somewhat
curiously - Film Detective has bravely rescued the film – and its fans - from
the gray-market, washed-out, faded and deteriorating prints of which we’ve been
accustomed, sharing with us this brand new 4K transfer to Blu-ray from an
original 35mm camera negative.
The real question I suppose is whether or not EEGAH deserves such white-glove
attention? I will reason that it does,
especially as I have no financial interest or skin in the game. It’s nothing if not a fun film; a completely
nutty and perfect jewel of non-pretentious, time-capsule-exploitative-entertainment. It’s also of some train-spotting, fan-boy interest
as the film features the decidedly fresh-faced, twenty-one year old, 7’ 2â€
actor Richard Kiel (“Jaws†of the James Bond films) as the titular EEGAH. EEGAH is, apparently, a brooding prehistoric
cave dweller who has somehow managed to survive well into the early 1960s, unnoticed,
unwashed and unloved, in the Coachella Valley of Southern Californian
Mountains.
EEGAH’s curious, eon-spanning survival is never explained
to scientific satisfaction in Bob Wehling’s dotty script adapted from Arch Hall
Sr.’s original story. Sweet Roxy Miller’s adventure-writer father Mr. Miller (also
played by Arch Hall Sr.) opines – not unreasonably – that the caveman is likely
the last of his line. But he gives us no
indication of how he’s intellectually arrived at his totally non-scientifically
tested, off-the-cuff conclusion. By his best
ballpark estimate the savage primitive has managed to survive perhaps “fifty to
one hundred years†following the passing of even EEGAH’s most recent forebear. In some manner of speaking EEGAH still lives alongside his now all-but-extinct
extended family in his lonely mountainside cave. Except they now reside there as little more
than well cared for mummified remains.
EEGAH’s survival has seemingly gone on unnoticed until
one dark night on a deserted road when sweet Roxy (Marilyn Manning) nearly plows
into him with her banana yellow sport coupe. While EEGAH grimaces and growls and postures menacingly, it’s apparent
that he’s somewhat smitten with his hit-and-run paramour. The girl manages to escape their impromptu
meet-up and soon relates the details of her strange run in to her disbelieving
boyfriend Tom (Arch Hall, Jr.) and her aforementioned father. Acknowledging the mystery would be best investigated
by a responsible adult, Dad Miller is apparently unable to find one. He chooses to go off on his own, hiring a
helicopter to take him into the deep ravines within Shadow Mountain. Dressed resplendently in white safari shirt,
shorts, and pit helmet, Miller disembarks the copter for an ill-prepared solo expedition. He carries little more than a small tartan
satchel and a Brownie camera to support him on his overnight camping trip.
When he fails to appear at the pre-arranged pick-up site
the following day, heartthrob Tom and Roxy rush to the designated spot in the
hot desert in Tom’s cool dune buggy (“The tires are filled with water,†he
tells his girlfriend, the extra weight giving them better “traction in the
sandâ€). As an aside, actor Hall Jr. recalled
the dune buggy featured in the film was actually the most authentic and menacing
monster of the production. Though it had
once been a 1939 Plymouth Sedan it was now, in the actor’s own parlance “a
deathtrap,†since it had been amateurishly converted into a buggy and welded
back together poorly with no semblance of supportive structure. He recalled a few instances where he was
literally pinned under a wreckage of metal, the crew scrambling to pull him
free from the crushing weight.