By Lee Pfeiffer

MGM has released the 1082 action flick Safari 3000 as a burn-to-order DVD. The title refers to a marathon road race that extends 3,000 miles across the African desert. Stockard Channing plays J.J. Dalton, a Lois Lane-like adventurous American reporter who has an inexplicable fixation on covering the race by entering her own car in the competition. Arriving in Africa (no specific country is actually cited) J.J. buys a clunker of an automobile, then meets cute with Eddie Miles (David Carradine), a rugged loner who has reputation as one of the top race car drivers. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to conclude that this odd couple will link up and Eddie will be J.J's official driver. You also don't win kudos for predicting that their friction-filled relationship will ultimately lead to some rolls in the sack as they develop an unlikely romance. The couple is constantly being challenged by the evil Count Borgia (Christopher Lee, who is clad in a bizarre black crash helmet that makes him resemble a cross between Darth Vader and a overturned spittoon). Borgia travels with his long-suffering Sancho Panza, Feodor (Hamilton Camp), who meekly bares verbal abuse from his boss. The film, directed by Harry Hurwitz, is one of those productions that seems to exist simply to afford the participants the opportunity for an exotic vacation in Africa, while collecting a pay check at the same time. (Imagine John Ford's lazy Hawaiian opus Donovan's Reef -with elephants.) 

There is barely any effort to provide a story line. Most of the action consists of endless car chases with nary an explanation as to how the participants are refueling their vehicles over the 3,000 run in the most desolate of locations. The only supporting characters are bizarrely inserted into the mix without the slightest attempt to develop their personalities. These blink-and-you-miss them participants in the race are merely catalysts for some spectacular car crashes. Despite all of this, I have to admit that I rather enjoyed the unpretentious goofiness of Safari 3000. Channing is typically spunky and likable while Carradine and Lee get rare opportunities to show off their comedic talents. Lee is particularly amusing, spouting pretentious dialogue and quotes from the classics even while ludicrously clad in his bizarre costume. What makes the film durable is the spectacular scenery and impressive cinematography by Adam Greenberg (in one memorable scene a giraffe is captured in a long distance race against a car). Perhaps most improbably, the score is by the legendary composer Ernest Gold, who provided classic themes for Exodus and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Suffice it to say, his work on Safari 3000 will not be placed atop his list of grand achievements. 

The movie is one of those guilty pleasures that doesn't have the slightest pretense of being anything beyond lightweight entertainment. It's a fun romp and will especially appeal to those who find The Cannonball Run too complicated and Bergmanesque to warm to. 

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By Lee Pfeiffer

The Warner Archive has released the 1975 remake of The Spiral Staircase as a burn-to-order title. The original version from 1946 has always been well-regarded and holds up well even today. Not so with this version, which was made for American television and released theatrically in Europe. The movie boasts an impressive cast and was directed by Peter Collinson, who died only a few years later at the young age of 44. Collinson's main claim to fame is the original version of The Italian Job which, over the decades, has developed a very enthusiastic cult following in England. The wit and liveliness he brought to that production is nowhere to be found in this pedantic affair. Jacqueline Bisset plays Helen Mallory, a beautiful young woman who has been rendered mute by the trauma of having witnessed her husband and young daughter killed in a house fire. She's trying to get her act together and has a relationship with a doctor (poorly played by John Ronane) who is trying to coax her into speaking again. Conveniently (for the scriptwriters), Helen just happens to visit a small town where handicapped young women are being slain by a serial killer. Helen is there ostensibly to visit her uncle, Dr. Joe Sherman (Christopher Plummer) but, of course, we know she'll end up in his old house being terrorized by the killer. The mansion house has all the stock characters from an Agatha Christie tale: a feisty, invalid old woman (Mildred Dunnock), Sherman's rude, sexually-driven brother Steve (John Philip Law), a comely southern belle (Gayle Hunnicutt) who vies for the attention of both brothers, a drunken female chef (Shelia Brennan), her handyman husband (Ronald Radd) and a tough-as-nails nurse (Elaine Stritch). Every conceivable cliche is tossed into the mix: a torrential thunder and lightning storm, mysterious knocks on doors, power failures, etc. You have expect Vincent Price to pop out of a closet and inform everyone they are his guests at a lethal dinner party. Before long, it becomes clear that the murderer is inside the house and one-by-one the supporting characters succumb until Helen is left to fend for herself against her would-be murderer. 

Collinson's clunky direction milks the film of any suspense. He relies on the sound of crashing thunder and the zoom lens to evoke thrills and the cast members limp lamely through the proceedings as though they recognize this project is far below their talents. Naturally, our heroine does every conceivable thing imaginable to ensure she puts herself at maximum risk. The screenplay never really develops the characters beyond cliches and, therefore, there is little emotional wallop when they meet their respective fates. Collinson also fails to capitalize on the titular spiral staircase or interweave it in any meaningful way into the proceedings. The movie was clearly shot entirely on location in England, but for some bizarre reason, great pains were taken to pretend the proceedings are going on in America, a ploy that fails on every level. 

On the positive side, this Spiral Staircase is never dull and does move at a brisk pace. There is also the pleasure of seeing some great talents on screen together, even if they are there in search of a quick pay check.

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By Lee Pfeiffer

After several false starts and weak efforts, the much-promised revival of Hammer horror films has finally come to fruition with the release of The Woman in Black, an old-fashioned ghost story that ranks with the finest achievements of the legendary British production company. The story is set in the early 1900s. Daniel Radcliffe gives an excellent performance as Arthur Kipps, a young London-based lawyer who is already a widower, his beloved wife having died while giving birth to their son. Kipps tries his best to juggle being a single parent with the demands of his profession, but his unrelenting grief prevents him from fulfilling his duties at the office. His boss gives him one last chance to redeem himself by sending him to a remote village to investigate a complicated insurance situation relating to a recently deceased person. Arriving in the village, Kipps discovers that the relatively mundane task is fraught with intrigue. He suspects that the person he has to deal with is concealing vital paperwork concerning insurance claims. He decides to secretly act as detective and investigate the matter in a thorough manner. The trail leads to an abandoned mansion in a rural area where he locates a stash of relevant paperwork. While examining this mountain of evidence, Kipps glances out the window and catches a glimpse of a veiled woman clad in black standing in the overgrown garden. Soon, he finds himself terrorized by mysterious noises and apparitions and learns that the ghostly figure he has observed is somehow tied to a series of gruesome deaths among the children of the village. To say any more would divulge too much. Suffice it to say that, in the long Hammer tradition, the local villagers are paranoid about strangers and seem to be hiding a very dark secret. Kipps' only ally is Daily (Ciaran Hinds) who shares his determination to get to the bottom of the mystery, even while he cares for his wife (Janet McAteer) who is coping with a mental illness brought about by the tragic death of their own child. 

The film was directed by James Watkins, an impressive new talent who wisely eschews special effects in favor of the theory that what you don't see can be more terrifying than what you do see. Watkins remains reverent to the early Hammer productions and manages to evoke quite a number of moments that will have you jump out of your seat. He benefits from an outstanding cast of supporting actors who have been chosen on the basis of their talents, not because they look like models. Both Ciaran Hinds and Janet McAteer are particularly excellent. Praise must also go to production designer Kave Quinn for her outstanding work on the old mansion set, aided immeasurably by the appropriately gloomy cinematography of Tim Maurice-Jones and the atmospheric score by Marco Beltrami. Screenwriter Jane Goldman, working from the source novel by Susan Hill, keeps the dialogue literate and intelligent and the character of Kipps sympathetic and completely believable. He is no super hero. Yes, he doesn't shirk from investigating things that go bump in the night, but he looks pretty petrified while doing so. The film comes to a climax that is quite chilling and most unexpected. Suffice it to say, The Woman in Black recalls the best of the haunted house genre that comprises of such films as the original version of The Haunting,  The Innocents and The Others. 

Sony has released the film as a Blu-ray edition with commentary by James Watkins and Jane Goldman. The disc contains two bonus features: Inside the Perfect Thriller, which examines the overall making of the movie through cast and crew interviews and No Fear: Daniel Radcliffe as Arthur Kipps, wherein the actor shares insights about the inspirations for his performance. (Curiously, the film's trailer is not included, though trailers for other releases are). One of the great delights is seeing a dynamic new Hammer logo at the beginning of the film that utilizes classic movie poster art from the golden age of the company. The Woman in Black bodes well for Hammer's comeback. If they can keep up the quality of the productions, they can play a major factor in revitalizing the sorrowful state of the horror film genre, which has largely deteriorated into mindless slasher films. One tip: if you watch the film alone, make sure you keep the lights on.

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By Lee Pfeiffer

Although I've been a long time admirer of both Jim Brown and Lee Van Cleef, their 1970 Western El Condor had eluded me until the Warner Archive recently released it as a burn-to-order title. I was rather surprised at what a terrifically entertaining film this is and I was particularly impressed by the opulent production values. Filmed in Almeria, Spain (like so many Westerns of the period), El Condor presents Brown and Van Cleef as petty criminals who form a partnership in order to search for a massive fortune in gold that is supposedly secreted behind the walls of a heavily guarded desert fortress run by Chavez, a renegade Mexican general (Patrick O'Neal). Chavez has a full army at his disposal and they are seemingly indestructible. They terrorize the local population, rape women at will and have enough heavy artillery to repel any attack from either side in the on-going Mexican revolution. Nevertheless, Brown and Van Cleef formulate a plan that will allow them to seize the El Condor fortress with the help of Apache warriors. Their scheme goes disastrously wrong in several ways, leading them to rely on their wits to survive.

One of the reasons why El Condor is so good is because it was directed by John Guillerman, an old pro at helming action/adventure movies. Guillerman is known for bringing spectacle to his productions and this one is no exception. The cast is incredibly large for a Western and the climactic battle inside the fortress is astonishing to behold in both its scope and execution. The fortress itself is an amazing piece of work, an massive creation that dominates the desert landscape. Aside from the impressive action sequences, there are other joys in this film. The Butch and Sundance-like byplay between Brown and Van Cleef gives both men a rare opportunity to show their talents at playing light comedy and Van Cleef is particularly amusing as a likable, but untrustworthy cad. Marianna Hill provides the sex appeal as Chavez' reluctant mistress and she gets to dominate a single, extended sequence in which she distracts a large number of soldiers by stripping by candlelight in her bedroom. Hill goes the full monty in a sequence that is genuinely erotic, though tastefully done. Another pleasure of the film is Maurice Jarre's stirring score which adds immeasurably to the atmosphere. 

El Condor is often brutal, but the bloodletting is somewhat mitigated by the humorous barbs between Van Cleef and Brown...and did I also mention that Marianna Hill has an extended nude scene?

(For a report on El Condor locations then and now, see Cinema Retro issue #5 in our back issues section) 

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By Lee Pfeiffer

When I received an unsolicited screener of a new film called The Scarlet Worm from Unearthed Films, I let it languish for weeks. Finally, primarily because it is a Western, I got around to viewing it. It's a gritty, grim affair that ranks among the best independent movies I've seen lately. However, I was curious about the cast members because, as talented as they are, I had not heard of any of them. The reason why became clear when I looked at the "making of..." extras on the Blu-ray. Incredibly, this ambitious movie was put together by a team of virtual strangers who met each other on-line. They conceived of the plot and shot the movie on such a low budget that they had to live in an abandoned house that had been foreclosed by a bank. When viewed from this context, The Scarlet Worm is an even more impressive achievement. The film centers on a immoral hired gun named Print (played by film critic Aaron Stielstra, who also provides the film's atmospheric score). Print fancies himself the protector of everything moral in the small, remote desert community in which he lives. He arbitrarily decides lives and dies, and much of his killing is done for pay under the instructions of local cattle baron, Mr. Paul (Montgomery Ford), who wants Print to assassinate a bordello owner named Kley (Dan van Husen), ostensibly because he forces his whores into undergoing barbaric abortions. However, there is a more personal reason for Paul wanting the "hit" to take place. This sets of a virtual war between Paul and Kley that involves an eclectic number of eccentric gunslingers on both sides. The Scarlet Worm may sound like an old Roger Corman horror flick, but the title actually has an intriguing meaning that becomes clear in the course of the film. The movie, very well-directed by Michael Fredianelli, draws upon imagery from any number of old Western classics ranging from the works of Peckinpah and Leone to Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven. The film doesn't stint on brutality and some of the sequences, particularly involving the crude abortion practices, are hard to stomach. Yet, Fredianelli successfully paints a convincing picture of the hard scrabble life on the American frontier, where lives could be snuffed out on a whim. The production team does wonders in compensating for the low budget and manages to provide some very professional and convincing set designs and costumes. The crew also doubles as actors. The most notable performances are those of professional veteran thespians like Ford and van Husen, who have film credits dating back decades. Both are in top form, finally having been awarded leading roles. Stielstra makes for a mesmerizing and highly complicated villain. Lanky in build with a Wyatt Earp look, Stielstra's Print is an unnerving figure- charming one moment, murderous the next. There are also some fine performances by the women who play the abused hookers, with Rita Rey a particular standout. It should be noted that the actresses don't shy away from appearing fully nude in the movie, but it never comes across as gratuitous. Instead, it presents frontier prostitution as a grimy world where women's lives depended on the whims of the men who routinely used and abused them. The Blu-ray looks first rate and contains a "making of" featurette, as well as various trailer for the film. There are also some trailers for productions members of the cast and crew are involved with. The team also has a slasher film out there, but it looks like a waste of their talents to produce yet another gruesome Texas Chainsaw Massacre-style movie. Instead, their production company, Wild Dogs Films, should set their sites on more lofty goals such as The Scarlet Worm. It's an amazing achievement in indy film making and I look forward to their next endeavor. 

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