The good folks at the U.S. cable TV company, Cablevision, are at it again. When you press your remote control's "INFO" button, a brief synopsis of the show you are watching appears on screen. For years some person or persons has proven themselves to be more entertaining than the program itself by providing descriptions of the telecasts that are, to put it charitably, bizarre. Check out these descriptions of Turner Classic Movies recent telecasts of some Horror Hammer films classic featuring TCM's "Star of the Month" Christopher Lee:
"DRACULA, PRINCE OF DARKNESS": "Four tourists dine and spend the night at Dracula's castle; two escape and warn a monk".
Now, try sinking your teeth into this one:
"DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE": "The vampire count bites a tavern waitress and monsignor's niece, then falls on something sharp".
If you think you doubt you possess the talent to be a professional writer, keep in mind the perpetrators of these descriptions actually get paid for their efforts, so by all means send in your credentials to Cablevision.