BY DOUG OSWALD
Tough
as nails CIA agent Nick Pirandello (James Belushi) recruits milquetoast insurance
agent and suburban family man Bob Wilson (John Ritter) to save the world in
“Real Men,†a 1987 equal parts action comedy, spy movie, road movie and buddy
movie now available on Blu-ray from Kino Lorber. Buddy movies dominated the
action genre throughout the 70s and 80s in theaters and, on TV and just about
every male star appeared in at least one. The “Lethal Weapon†movies starring
Mel Gibson and Danny Glover typified the genre with the apparent mismatch of personalities
who eventually work together to bring the plot to a satisfying resolution.
Belushi
is no stranger to the buddy movie, having starred in a few throughout the 80s
including “Red Heat†with Arnold Schwarzenegger. While the two leads play it mostly
straight, the movie does provide laughs, action and also veers into science
fiction as it builds on one odd scene after another. Just as things start to move
in one direction, the movie takes a new turn into weirdness which is a big part
of the fun. It’s basically a series of non-sequiturs sequenced to bring about a
satisfying conclusion. Somehow it all works.
Bob
happens to look exactly like a recently killed CIA agent and Nick is sent to escort
him from Los Angeles to Washington D.C. in five days to complete the dead spy’s
mission by Friday. Nick calmly explains their mission as he assembles a nail-firing
machine gun from parts found in Bob’s garage in order to fend the group of
unknown agents trying to kill them. Nick reveals their mission which is to meet
up with extra-terrestrial visitors (Nick calls them Ufoes) seeking a glass of
water in exchange for the “good package†or the “big gunâ€. The bad guys want
the big gun but the good package will save the earth from the effects of a recent
toxic waste accident which will result in the end of mankind. Bob proves hard
to convince and attempts escape at every opportunity, but Nick pulls out every
trick in the book to convince Bob that their mission is important to America
and the world, as they’re confronted by several groups of agents including
Russian KGB, rogue CIA agents and clown assassins.
After
escaping and driving through the night, they make a pit stop in Las Vegas. Nick
tries to prove the truth of his mission by showing a still doubting Bob a pen
inscribed by the Ufoes with, “To Nick from his Friends Far Away.†Still
unconvinced, Nick hammers the pen through a baseball after which it levitates,
sprouts antennae, spins and flies away. Russian agents show up and, after Nick
fails at negotiating a truce with a sultry female Russian agent, the shooting
begins again. Just as things start looking grim, the Russians stop shooting for
their lunch break. The duo calmly walks away from the halted firefight and end
up at Nick’s parents’ home where Bob meets Nick’s mom (a cameo by Barbara
Barrie) and dad. Nick explains that dad has gone through some big changes in
his life and is very happy now as a woman. Dad is played by Dyanne Thorne, best
known to fans of 70s exploitation cinema as the star of the Ilsa exploitation series,
in a funny sequence that ends with Thorne reminding Bob to call.
By
Thursday they’re in Indianapolis where they pick up a special glass to hold the
water for the Ufoes. They also engage the CIA killer clown unit. Nick is a
crack shot and seemingly has eyes in the back of his head. After falling in
love with a dominatrix he meets in Pittsburg, Nick briefly loses interest in
the mission, but by then Bob has gained the confidence Nick has lost and completes
the mission.
John
Ritter was good at playing the type of character portrayed in the past by Bob
Hope, Danny Kaye and Don Knotts; the cowardly loser who comes through in the
end and gets the girl. In this case he earns the respect of his wife and kids
when he goes after the neighborhood bullies who stole his son’s bike. Jim
Belushi is also very effective as the relative straight man. He’s tough,
confident and plays it cool throughout, but also come across as a bit of the
slippery con man ala Bud Abbott and Dean Martin. Belushi and Ritter have good
chemistry and it’s a pity they didn’t do another film together.
Released
by United Artists in 1987, this is the sole directing credit for Dennis Feldman
who also wrote the film’s screenplay. Known as a writer and producer, his
previous credits include “Just One of the Guys,†“The Golden Child,†“Speciesâ€
and “Virus.†In some ways the movie is a precursor to “Men in Black†where
government agents also have secret knowledge of extraterrestrials and compete
in an effort to garner favors from their advanced technology. The movie
underperformed at the box office, but did find life on cable TV and home video
release. Miles Goodman provides an entertaining score which does a fine job
underscoring the strange elements of the film.
The
Kino Lorber Blu-ray looks and sounds great. The only extra is the trailer, but
it’s worth a look because it’s simply a series of scenes between Nick and Bob
explaining what makes a man a “real man.†The movie is definitely an acquired
taste, but Belushi and Ritter are very good very likable as a team. The movie
isn’t for everyone, but it’s unique, entertaining and worth a look.
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