By Lee Pfeiffer
Actors and directors have a long tradition of trying to pass off exotic vacations as legitimate film making. Sometimes the cynical gambit pays unexpected dividends such as the Rat Pack's decision to shoot Oceans Eleven in between their nightly gigs on stage in the Sands hotel and casino in Las Vegas. They somehow turned out a good movie in between all the drinking, screwing and gambling. John Ford rounded up his stock company and headed to Hawaii for Donovan's Reef, but even with John Wayne on board, Paramount balked at the reed-thin script and old Pappy ended up having to front some of the production costs himself. In 1990, director Michael Winner teamed two of the wittiest and most likable stars- Michael Caine and Roger Moore- for what would appear to be a "no lose" proposition: casting them in an espionage comedy. Winner was well past his sell date as a director by then and ended up reinventing himself as a grouchy political pundit and much-feared restaurant critic. Still, how could he lose by teaming Harry Palmer and James Bond? It's a rhetorical question because the resulting film, Bullseye, was considered almost unreleasable. It's one of the least-seen movies of Caine and Moore's careers and with good reason. The ridiculous plot finds the two charismatic actors cast as two low-grade London con men who become embroiled in a plot to impersonate two renegade nuclear scientists who plan to sell top secrets to dangerous foreign powers. The silliest aspect of the film is that the scientists just happen to be physically identical to the con men. Moore and Caine are subjected to a series of increasingly weird scenarios that see them running about like the Keystone Cops as any shred of sensibility in the script is tossed out the window. They are joined by B movie mainstay of the era Sally Kirkland and Moore's daughter Deborah (billed here as "Deborah Barrymore") but not even the resurrection of Marilyn Monroe's sex appeal could salvage this cinematic train wreck. Winner seems to be directing as an afterthought as he indulges in some gorgeous locations in Scotland where the on-screen antics become so confusing that you literally have no idea whether you are observing the con men or the scientists. Winner films the final scene in an exotic island location which is quite obviously an indication of his ability to actually fly everyone there simply to shoot a few seconds of inconsequential footage. Winner wrote the non-screenplay with another otherwise talented person, the great lyricist and songwriter Leslie Bricusse. The only consolation they must have had is that they had a hell of a time on location and no one saw the movie anyway.
Personal observation: In 2017, following the death of Sir Roger Moore, a suitably opulent memorial service was held for him at Pinewood Studios, arranged by his friend, personal assistant and frequent co-author, Cinema Retro's own Gareth Owen. The service reflected the man himself: it was sentimental and funny as hell. Following the memorial, there was a champagne reception in the fabled gardens area. I found myself sipping bubbly next to Sir Michael Caine. In the parlance of the Brits, he and Roger had been best mates for decades. I mentioned to him that it was a shame that the only time they had teamed on screen was for "Bullseye". Sir Michael grinned and said he and Roger referred to the film as "Our "Ishtar", a reference to the notorious flop comedy from 1987. He said they had figured out very quickly that Michael Winner wasn't interested in the film. That was evidenced by the fact that every night he would whisk his stars away for dinner at another opulent restaurant and bill the entire meal to the studio. A great time was had by all. Consequently, he said that he and Roger agreed on two things: "Bullseye" was the worst film of their careers and, paradoxically, it was the most fun they ever had on a film set.
(The film is currently streaming on Amazon Prime.)