BY LEE PFEIFFER
The Italians have always loved sex comedies and after the restraints of censorship began to lift in the 1960s and 1970s, the nation's film industry exploited this genre to the max. Case in point: "The Real Decameron", released in 1973 in an attempt to capitalize on the controversy that stemmed from Pasolini's 1971 cinematic adaptation of the legendary collection of erotica that was written centuries before by Boccaccio. (As you can see, very famous Italians don't require first names.) "The Real Decameron" (also known as "The Sexbury Tales") opens in Medieval times with a group of bored wash women who pass the time of day by telling stories of erotic gossip and fantasies. The film is broken into various short comedy segments that are unrelated other than the fact that they center on the sexual frustrations of the protagonists. In one tale, a young virginal male is persuaded by a woman to marry her daughter even though the girl's face is kept hidden under a veil. Upon tying the knot, he's stunned to find that she gives a new definition to "ugly". When he is unable to summon the interest to consummate the marriage with his sex-starved bride, mom comes to the rescue and begins to give him under-the-covers lessons in lovemaking. In another story, a would-be Romeo is banned from seeing his Juliet by her overly-possessive father who locks her in a room inside the family castle. The labored segment focuses entirely on the bumbling young man's ill-fated attempts to secretly gain access to her room. In another sketch, a homely middle-aged farmer is unable to persuade his beautiful young wife to have sex. She's terrified of the act until he persuades her to give it a go. The big payoff here is based on the old adage "Be careful what you wish for- you just might get it", as he learns she is now addicted to sex and wants to make love morning, noon and night. Now the tables are turned and he becomes the intimidated partner. Another "gem" centers on an ugly husband and his nagging but attractive wife who can't stand the idea of consummating their marriage. She concocts a wild tale about seeing a ghost in their house (actually her real lover in costume) to induce her cowardly spouse to run from the premises so she can enjoy an erotic evening. Then there is a tale of a highway man who masquerades as a priest to evade the authorities who are pursing him. Due to his disguise, he is welcomed into the home of a man who is desperately trying to find a cure for an ailment that has kept his wife bedridden. Needless to say, he takes one look at the beauty and bans the hubby from the boudoir so he can administer some "religious rites". In the film's most bizarre story line, a teenage girl claims that her virginity was stolen when a prawn entered her body while she was swimming. A kooky doctor prescribes sex as the only way to mitigate the prawn's nasty effects- which of course leads to her being the most popular girl in town as many young men volunteer to minister to her needs.
If you are wondering how scenarios as lame as these could be funny, the answer that they aren't. The film, directed by Renato Savino (using the nom de plume Mauro Stefani) features frantic and sometimes manic over-acting and some of the weakest payoffs in the history of cinematic comedy. All of this would be excusable if there was an abundance of nudity and sexual content but, alas, the movie is about as erotic as "Monkeys, Go Home!". There is some fleeting T&A to keep male viewers marginally awake but even back in the day, this must have been a pretty limp cinematic biscuit. The film does have some decent production values, costumes and sets for a low-budget flick and the DVD transfer is fairly decent- and we love the stylish original poster art used on the sleeve. Ironically, the bizarre English sub-titles end up providing most of the laughs, though it is purely unintentional.
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