By Lee Pfeiffer
The pressure to fill American cable TV channels with product- any product- to cover a 24/7 time span has resulted in the creation of some bizarre concepts for series. As reality-based shows are far less expensive to produce than scripted TV series, the cable networks are awash with a mixed bag of product. Some are ludicrous while others make for surprisingly good entertainment. Falling firmly into the latter category is Storage Wars, which is based on the seemingly lame concept of a group of self-employed entrepreneurs competing to outbid each other to take possession of storage lockers that have been left in a default status due to their owner's inability or unwillingness to pay the rental fees. This apparently is big business and all storage facilities hold regular auction events that attract big crowds of speculators. There are the seasoned pros and the novices and weekend warriors. The two elements don't mix easily, as the pros accuse the newbies of stupidly driving up prices for everyone for lockers that may not be worth the final sale price. The rules of every auction don't vary: the auctioneer allows the bidders five minutes to gaze into each locker but no one can enter the unit or touch anything. The challenge is to make this "what you see is what you get" scenario turn a profit. In some cases, valuable items are clearly seen but in most instances, there is a bunch of cluttered boxes and household items. The bidder must speculate as to whether there are any treasures to be found. There is an art to this "science", and too many wrong choices can drive you out of business. Not only do you have to pay for the locker in cash right then and there, but you also are responsible for emptying the contents. Thus, most bidders have to employ helpers and use at least one truck to haul away the "goodies".
The series Storage Wars has follows the exploits of a diverse group of competing bidders as they try to outwit each other for possession of certain lockers. The show, which airs on A&E network, has become such a phenomenon that is has not only spawned many low-rent imitators but also a line of collectibles. The key players are:
- Darrell Sheets, a 32 year veteran of the auction business, who runs his own shop and sells collectibles and household items gleaned from his purchases at storage unit. Sheets is a gruff, but likable, blue collar guy with a beer belly and penchant for ball-busting insults, many of which are directed at his son Brandon, who is being groomed as the heir apparent. The byplay between the two provides some very amusing scenarios, with both father and son finding the other exasperating.
- Barry Weiss, the oldest of the players at 60 years of age, is also the wittiest and most sophisticated. Barry works alone, has no store and seems to be an independently wealthy man who is in the junk business simply for amusement. Barry's apparent wealth allows him to show up at auction sites in outlandish vehicles and he is often accompanied by amusing sidekicks who are there to bring him luck or help in some bizarre way. (In one episode, he hired a little person and had him walk on stilts to be able to see further back inside lockers!)
- Jarrod Schulz and Brandi Passanti are a thirty-something married couple who are new to the business. They own their own store and face constant financial difficulties. Thus, they are under constant pressure to secure enough goods to resell. However, Jarrod's weakness for overpaying often results in some conflicts with the more business-minded Brandi, who, by the way, is a real looker.
- Dave Hester- every show needs a villain and Hester is the guy everyone loves to hate on Storage Wars. The stocky, middle-aged man has made a lot of money in second hand goods and is constantly bragging obnoxiously about his triumphs. He runs a very large store and has a staff of full time employees. He arrives at auction sites in large trucks and pisses off the other cast members by over outbidding them just to be mean. Even if he doesn't want a locker, he runs up the price just to hurt the competition. Hester's trademark "Yuuup!" is shouted to indicate he wants to bid. It's become a somewhat minor sensation in contemporary culture so Hester has "Yuuup!" painted in bold letters on his trucks, t shirts and baseball caps.
- Dan and Laura Dotson are the married couple who act as auctioneers in every episode. All shows are confined to southern California where the Dotsons have established a well-regarded auction business. They remain unbiased in their performance, but enjoy trading quips with the regulars. Part of the fun of Storage Wars is listening to Dan and Laura shout out the status of bids in the traditional motormouth style of auctioneers.
All reality shows are contrived to some degree since no one can be expected not to play to the cameras. However, Storage Wars minimizes the contrivances. There aren't any phony fist fights and the insults the participants toss at each other are usual done with humor, though one senses there is some true bad blood between Dave Hester and Darrell Sheets. The one hokey aspect of the show (that is replicated in similarly-themed TV series) inevitably occurs when one of the gang goes to an expert to get a particular item evaluated. To heighten the suspense, there is always a pretentious long pause before the expert gives the final estimate of value. The show is a great deal of fun because the viewer, like the bidder, is curious to see what exactly is contained inside each of the lockers. Sometimes it turns out to be pure junk and other times there are historic treasures. The series makes voyeurs out of all of us because we are, in fact, looking into the personal lives of whoever once owned these lockers. I'm probably the least likely person to evaluate a contemporary TV series since I haven't been hooked on the medium since The Beverly Hillbillies was the hot new show. However, I do find this low-key series consistently enjoyable and also informative, as you actually learn about the historical origins of some of the finds unearthed by these modern treasure hunters.
Storage Wars: Season 3 has just been released as a 2-DVD collection and contains complete, un-edited episodes along with bonus behind the scenes footage. It's worth getting just to spare yourself having to sit through all those nauseating commercials. Give it a try- but don't blame me if you end up addicted. My verdict? "Yuuup!"
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