Editor-in-Chief Lee Pfeiffer shares some thoughts about a recent CBS TV special
On Friday night, CBS telecast a two-hour TV special entitled Movies Rock that
purported to be a celebration of the great songs from motion pictures.
I confess to not having seen the first hour, so this can't really be
considered a review. However, there are some observations about the
second hour that should be made because they epitomize why we at Cinema
Retro are more interested in the Hollywood of old than of today. It has
nothing to do with wanting to live in the past. It's just that when you
see today's "stars" and their slovenly look and behavior, we wonder how
anyone can have much enthusiasm for the contemporary film
industry. For starters, I don't live under a rock, but I've never even
heard of some of the big names who performed on the TV special. I did
hear of current heart throb Marc Anthony who was doing a reasonably
good tribute to Simon and Garfunkel's Mrs. Robinson (from The Graduate),
although I believe no mention was made of Mr. Garfunkel, who is treated
like the Zeppo Marx of the legendary duo. Instead, the song was a
tribute to Paul Simon - which may explain a lot about why Simon and
Garfunkel broke up. In any event, mid way through Anthony's rendition,
he began to flub his lines, then seemed to end the song prematurely
after assuring us that "Joltin' Joe has left and gone away" - a line
rendered meaningless because Anthony had neglected to sing the song's
most famous verse, "Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?"
We were
then treated to someone named Fergie (not the Duchess of York,
unfortunately), who appeared to have stopped in from a streetwalker's
convention in order to perform a tribute to the James Bond songs. She
was introduced by the typically slovenly Danny DeVito, who mumbled
through an inane introduction that informed us that, among the
legendary singers who performed Bond title songs was Tina Sinatra. You
heard that right. There is a Tina Sinatra, who runs the
licensing aspects of Frank Sinatra's estate, so it must have come as
news to her sister Nancy, who sang You Only Live Twice that
Tina is now being credited for the work. Oh, well, DeVito can't be
blamed - he's only been in show business for over forty years. The Bond
number chosen for the tribute was Live and Let Die and Fergie
certainly made for fetching eye candy as she slid around the stage in
an outfit that seemed to be painted on her as other, more talented
dancers tried to avoid the pyrotechnics. Fergie almost hit a few notes
on key, but it must have been an accident. By the time a giant bungi
cord allowed her to soar over the audience like Peter Pan, I became
convinced that only SPECTRE could have staged something this dreadful.
There
was a wonderful short shown in which Martin Scorsese discussed his
obsession with classic films and how sound plays such an important role
in the viewer's enjoyment of them. He is leading the charge for
restoring and preseving the classics through his Film Foundation. It
was a classy, moving segment that put to shame much of what followed.
Among the those who strode onstage to engage in that awful
"spontaneous" patter generally reserved for award shows were character
actor John C. Riley who was teamed with someone named Jenna Fischer,
who must be a big star somewhere despite the fact that neither I or the
people who were watching with me had ever heard of her. Riley
epitomized the now ritualisitc
dressing-down-because-dressing-up-is-uncool fashion style. Wearing a
bizarre black jacket with swirly white designs, he appeared to be a
cross between Captain Kangaroo and someone who stopped in from a kid's
rodeo. Yet, there were moments where the show succeeded. Shirley
MacLaine, looking ageless and splendid, introduced Queen Latifah, who
performed Hey, Big Spender from Sweet Charity. Latifah
wasn't as powerful as you would expect, but she at least had respect
for the material and didn't try to improve upon a classic. The
highlight of the hour I saw was a wonderful segment that was introduced
by a typically understated and elegant Harrison Ford. He presented John
Williams conducting the orchestra in a tribute to great movie themes
set to film clips. It was a majestic segment and moreso than anything
else, demonstrated how vital a good composer is to a classic movie. It
also made it abundantly clear how accurate John Barry was when he said
that most scores for recent motion pictures are little more than
"elevator music." Williams paid homage to great themes from Doctor Zhivago, Casablanca, Gone With the Wind, Jaws, Star Wars, The Magnificent Seven and
many others in a segment you didn't want to end. Unfortunatley, it did
and what followed what followed was a God awful "tribute" to Isaac
Hayes' landmark Theme From Shaft. Any resemblance to the
original was purely coincidental as a stageful of rap "superstars"
teamed up to destroy the classic Oscar winning song. As a middle aged
white guy, I had no idea who these performers were but the fact they
had joined together for this number was made out to be the most
exciting blending of talent since The Rat Pack staged their first
"Summit" in Vegas. The rappers left their limos and mansions long
enough to don their pretentious designer home boy clothing in order to
prove they still have street cred. After mumbling some inane rants,
they were given the obligatory standing ovation by an equally
pretentious crowd who were desperate to prove they were hip enough to
appreciate the abysmal act they had just suffered through.
Fortunately, the evening ended on another high note, as Verizon phone customers (!) had selected
White Christmas as
their favorite movie song of all time. (This obsession with the public
voting on all manner of things simply to enrich phone companies must be
stopped before we start deciding presidential elections in this manner.
There are times when democracy is
not good for the masses!) In
any event, the ageless Tony Bennett took the stage to sing the
legendary Irving Berlin song. His style and grace were a marvel to
behold and only reiterated that we're now seeing the last vestiges of
truly larger-than-life talent. After the Bennetts and MacLaine's are
gone, so too will the appreciation of the songs and work they have done
- at least in terms of the next generation of fans who will be texting
in their selection of Fergie as Entertainer of the Century.