BY LEE PFEIFFER
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's timeless 1902 Sherlock Holmes novel "The Hound of the Baskervilles" is said to be the most often-filmed adaptation of a book. I don't know if that's true but it's quite clear that over the decades, the tale has indeed inspired many adaptations for the cinema and television. The 1939 classic introduced audiences to the teaming of Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce as Holmes and Watson. The 1959 Hammer Films version was the first Holmes movie made in color and starred Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in another highly impressive adaptation. By the1970s, revisionist versions of Holmes stories were all the rage in cinema and on television, as evidenced by films such as "The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter ", "They Might Be Giants", "The Seven-Per-Cent Solution" and "The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes". Thus, the famed comic duo of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore opted to bring a satirical version of "The Hound of the Baskervilles" to the big screen with a cast of highly respected British character actors that included Terry-Thomas, Joan Greenwood, Kenneth Williams, Hugh Griiffith and Roy Kinnear. What could possibly go wrong? Plenty, as it turned out. The first mistake was hiring Paul Morrissey to direct. Morrissey's track record in cinema consisted primarily of directing edgy, avant-garde cult films in conjunction with Andy Warhol. This would be his first foray into mainstream filmmaking. He also co-authored the script with Cook and Moore. Few could have predicted that the film would be little-seen and much-reviled by those who had the misfortune of viewing it. If you're a fan of misguided, bad movies, your ship has come in with the new Blu-ray release.
On the surface, the script follows the basic plot of the novel. Sir Henry Baskerville (Kenneth Williams) is heir to a remote mansion house located just off the eerie and dangerous moors. However, it appears as though the previous male heirs met with foul fates due to their misdeeds- and some have fallen victim to a legendary murderous hound who stalks them. Holmes and Watson are enlisted to visit Baskerville Hall to protect Sir Henry while they investigate who has made attempts on his life. As in the novel, Holmes disappears from the mid-section of the story, leaving the sleuthing to Watson. As depicted by Cook and Moore, Holmes and Watson are two inept idiots who have gained reputations as great detectives largely through solving cases through the insights of others and by good fortune, when their blundering methods accidentally produce results. Both Cook and Moore play their characters with bizarre, undefined accents that are more annoying than amusing. Cook portrays Holmes as an effeminate fop and Moore's Watson is more Inspector Clouseau than Victorian era sleuth. Moore plays multiple roles in the film including a female character, which only reminded me that aside from "Some Like It Hot" and "The Birdcage", female impersonation tends to be more amusing in theory than execution on the silver screen. The movie lumbers from one unfunny bit to the next and the running time of 85 minutes begins to feel like a double feature of "Ben-Hur" and "Doctor Zhivago"; the cinematic equivalent of water torture as you wait for the next bad joke to drop. Making matters worse is the monotonous piano score "composed" by Dudley Moore which is annoying after several seconds yet is played throughout the entire film. It's like being trapped in a room for 85 minutes with a young piano student who only knows how to play "Chopsticks".
The high profile cast of esteemed character actors is largely wasted. Who would hire one of Britain's great clowns, Terry-Thomas, and cast him in a humorless role? The great Denholm Elliott suffers the indignation of having to carry around a puppy who pees all over everyone he meets (a gag that is repeated numerous times.). Similarly, Oscar winner Hugh Griffith's talents are also wasted but his role is mercifully brief. Kenneth Williams of the "Carry On" films plays Sir Henry with over-the-top stereotypical gay characteristics.The most sympathetic victim is Joan Greenwood, whose portrayal of an upper crust lady-of-the-manor sees her subjected to scenes that spoof "The Exorcist" - five years after that film was released and seemingly every conceivable rip-off of it had already been released. It's the equivalent of making a comedy today that tries to connect with viewers by spoofing "Saturday Night Fever". The exorcism scenes are elaborately staged, given the film's meager production budget, but they are as bizarre as they are grotesque and interminable. You simply have to see it to believe it. One hopes that Ms. Greenwood never saw the final film. Much of the blame for the pacing and erratic nature of the film must be placed squarely with director Morrissey, who is out of his element here. The scenarios are played out in a clunky manner and subtlety is not on the menu, as Morrissey employs a chainsaw instead of a scalpel. Because I'm an eternal optimist, I kept hoping that there would be at least one amusing moment delivered during the course of the film and-Voila!- the hope became a reality. It occurs in Spike Milligan's cameo as a constable who suffers a groin injury from the bumper of a car, causing him to utter a remark that actually woke me from my stupor for a few seconds to emit a genuine laugh. But the tradeoff was hardly worth it: ten seconds of amusement in return for 85 non-retrievable minutes of my diminishing life span. Fortunately for all involved, the movie was a bomb and, thus, the debacle was not witnessed by many. Consequently, everyone's reputation remained intact and Moore's clout rose appreciably after his acclaimed supporting role in the comedy thriller "Foul Play", which was released the same year and overshadowed "The Hound of the Baskervilles".
Code Red has released "The Hound of the Baskervilles" on Blu-ray with a very nice transfer. It's fairly bare bones with only the original trailer included as a bonus. I have to salute the company for bringing out this title, as even bad movies should be preserved and made available for easy access. After all, this review is only one person's opinion. ('lest you suspect that I'm too high brow to enjoy low brow comedy, I consider the Three Stooges to be hilarious. So there.) There may be others who view the film and howl with laughter, but speaking personally, I found this "Hound" to be a real dog.
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